Greeting little cash piggies and money slaves. It’s time for a lesson in financial reprogramming. I know you have little spending habits that if all were added up by the end of the month, well, that money should be going to ME instead. You don’t really didn’t need the coffee from Starbucks every morning did you, that money should have gone to Miss Kay! How dare you spend MY money on your compulsive little spending habits. Did you forget your only habit and duty is making ME happy? So from now on, absolutely no more spending money on nasty little habits, impulse purchases, splurges, no more money leaks down the financial drain. I’m the only one permitted to drain your money, actually, MY money. No Ventis at Starbucks, no chips and dip while you watch sports, in fact no upgraded cable tv sports packages like NFL Ticket, no porn site memberships, no using the car wash when you can wash your own car, I know the hundreds of dollars you spend on such stupid things! Turn your attention to something far more valuable, me, Ms. Kay, and spend MY money where it is deserved. Because if and when I learn that you burned MY money on some ridiculous thing like manly sports for you weak wimps or internet porn for your jerk off addicts, you will feel MY wrath!
You will feel far more satisfaction giving money to your Money Goddess and in keeping ME pleased, living the life of luxury I deserve while you live a more spartan lifestyle of sacrifice and duty as my pay piggies! You should be buying my MP3s, calling me on Niteflirt, clicking my Tribute buttons, buying my PTV games and sending me eGiftCards!
